Love more; Learn more!

I am going to make this real simple. I did a losuy mistake and made Ganesh's birthday a miserable one because I went over board with my own frustrations. Should have been more patient. First lesson. Second lesson. A simple thought expressed by Ganesh which made a powerful impact. He was upset about certain things that had happened in the run up to his birthday. Some statements had hurt him and then my stupid shouting on his birthday. He calmly took it all (actually another lesson for me; not to get too emotional) but broke out the next day and told me what had hurt him. I immediately got into explaining why he shouldn't feel that way because what he had understood was not what I had meant. After all my emotional outpouring, he just said one thing. And that one thing is the lesson I wanted to share with you all. He said "I told you what I felt. I dont know if it is right or wrong. But that is what I felt and you can't tell me not to feel like that, because it is a feeling and I can't stop it." I thought that made sense. Especially because it came from a loved one with whom one wants to share one's joys and sorrows. Think about it. May be it will hit home with you or may be not.

Why do men do that??!!

This was the topic of one of Oprah Winfrey's shows that I watched on TV recently. I am sure all of you know about this show. It is a great talk show and the lady 'Oprah' is one of my favourites. I have drawn a lot of inspiration from her shows. Now, this particualar show where three celebrity guys - Jay Leno (the host of the 'Late night show' on which 'Movers & Shakers' hosted by Shekhar Suman was based on), Brian McKnight (a singer I am not too familiar with) and Rick Reilly (of 'Sports Illustrated') answered questions of several woman viewers on why men do certain things they way they do - got me laughing hard.

Before I start saying anything more about how I felt, let me list here some of the questions that these guys answered. I am sure once my women friends read the questions they will pretty much know how I felt. Ok guys, I am not leaving you'll out. I know you will laugh for your own reasons but I would identify more with the women on this topic; that is why a special mention of them. Ok, here are the questions -

1. Why do men go to strip clubs?
2. Why do men watch dirty stuff(I am not saying the P word, lest my blog be banned for inappropriate content;)) on the Internet or on TV?
3. Why are men obsessed with golf or any other sport?
4. What is the matter with the whistles and cat calls men make when they look at women?
5. Why do men grow lazy after they say 'I do'?
6. This one is sort of dicey - what do men think about after sex?

The answers these guys gave were so funny because it was so true. All of us women who are married and living with our husbands would agree. Like the bit about men not helping with work at home. One woman complained about how her husband who used to do a lot of his work himself before marriage started walking past a pile of dirty clothes (after marriage) and would tell his wife he didn't see it when she questioned him. Guess what one of these guys answered to that! He said that if the husband said he didnt see the clothes, he really meant it. Brain, the singer says men are simple human beings who just speak their mind without pretending. So if your husband is telling you he didnt see something, he really didn't see it. When I really thought about it for a moment, I felt it was so true.

Hear this one. This made me smile. The one about 'Why do men go to strip clubs?'. There was this woman who broke up with her boyfriend who went to a strip club. Now how many of us agree with that??? If it is ok to admit here, I wouldn't care too much if my husband did it. After all it is a man's way of entertaining himself like women would gossip non-stop to relax themselves. And that is exactly what the celebrity guests said!

The one about obsession with golf or any sport was good. The 'Sports Illustrated' guy said something which made me burst into laughter. He said that men like keeping scores and that is why they keep going back to play. They just tell each other at the end of a game, "You won today and I lost, so lets play tomorrow so that I can beat you". They don't discuss it further like women. And the example he gave was - after a game of football no two coaches say to each other "you did that in the 3rd quarter of the game that made us lose". Now that sounded so familiar to me. What say you all my lady pals?

There was another question which was really interesting. Why do men not cuddle more often? And why do they cuddle only when they want to take it to the next step? The answer was - 'Because cuddling doesn't come naturally to men and when they do it they are thinking of more than just cuddling!! It may look cute to a woman, but the man's physiology is humming a different tune'. Now all you women out there, beware when a guy says he friends with you and hugs you:)

I quite enjoyed the show and I am sure it would be more entertaining for you to read about it yourself than me narrating it like this. So if you want to read more about this, follow this link:- http://www.oprah.com/tows/slide/200511/20051101/slide_20051101_350_101.jhtml

Picture courtesy : http://www.familyisafety.com/filters/cybersentinel.htm
Questions listed are as seen on www.oprah.com

Should I be ashamed of changing?

I did something last week after a lot of thinking and turmoil. All who know me, know that I was a vegeterian. Ofcourse, some also know that I have a big temptation for prawns. Though tempted, I kept telling myself that killing something and eating was something to do with principles in life. But the last week, my temptation took the better of me and I ate some prawns (Shanthi, my maid made this amazing dish called Palak Jinga). Then a couple of days later I decided that if I ate prawns I could also eat fish because I have read a lot about seafood being good for health. So I ate fish as well.

Ok now, I hear all you vegeterians yelling and throwing abuses at me:) But I must admit that of late a thought had been doing the rounds in my 'mazed mind'. The thought about balance in life. I hear you all. I am not beating about the bush to prove my point. Just a thought which triggered this whole change in me (of course, alongside the temptation for prawns). Now back to the main point of this whole tale.

Ganesh and I had, a few weeks ago, got into a conversation about how some people become fiercely involved in some of their principles and expect the whole world to follow suit. I can't remember the exact incident, but I think it was this news about how animal lovers had staged a dharna to ban KFC because it was killing too many chickens. Whilst I am a big animal lover myself, I don't think that it is right for people to just impose their likes on everyone. God has created the universe in a particular way to bring balance. For instance, one species has to perish for another to survive. Like lions kill other animals for their food. You can't argue against that. Similarly, another cult are feminists. When I say feminists, I mean real feminists who blame men for everything and dislike the word 'Men'. You can fight for your rights as individuals and put forth concerns which revolve around gender but you cannot ignore men as a species because man and woman were created as equal halves to balance the universe and procreate.

Now, my change as I said was triggered by this thought. The thought of the way universe was created. God made all species and gave each of them their characteristics and behaviour (my atheist friends can replace God with Science). Imagine if the whole world was vegeterian how we would be vying for space with goats and chickens and pigs and cattle. So I kept thinking about how nature is the way it is meant to be and how it wouldn't be a sin to just follow my natural instincts and temptations. I also happen to read something about the same thoughts in the book I am currently reading - 'Like the flowing river' by Paulo Coelho. One of the chapters in this book talks about myths and one of the myths that the author talks about is got to do with eating non-vegeterian. A sentence here touched a chord in me. It goes like this: "Nature is a constant cycle of life and death and, one day, we will be the ones going back into the earth to feed it". The author also further quotes what Jesus said, which was "It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth". The author also spoke, in another chapter, about how one of the characteritic of the human species is contradictoriness and that we should not be ashamed to change our opinions as long as it does not cause grave consequences.

Now, I beg you people not to mistake me here. I totally respect anyone who wants to be vegeterian. It is one's choice, but to expect the whole universe to follow suit may not be reasonable. And many of you may not agree with my thoughts that led to my change, but I am the master of my will and I will bear the consequences of my action and this is an act that I thought fit in my current frame of mind. So why explain all this to all of you??? Because this is a blog about my 'mazed mind' which I mean to share with those who are interested in its meandering paths and its ramifications for their own good or bad.