Where is the line?

I am almost 100 per cent sure that all of us have faced this question sometime or the other in our lives. Be it with children or with pets, friends or relatives. Where, when and how do you draw the line between love, affection, care and discipline and control? I have faced this myself a lot before and a week ago I was again faced with this question. This time however it got me thinking a little more.

We all care a lot about some people in our lives. We want them to be happy and try our best to share our life experiences with them so thaat they can have a better shot at their life. But, honestly, there are times when I feel like I am being too judgemental about what a younger sibling or a close friend knows. I feel like I have to teach it all because I don't want them to go through the hardship and heartache that I went through. I try hard to make them see sense in what I am preaching. All this happens quite often and it happened again a couple of weeks ago. But this time, I genuinely let the other person(a close cousin, almost like a younger sister) decide and told myself that I have to let go and let her live her life. So I did not utter a word though I felt uncomfortable about some decisions she had made and was worried she was trying to emulate others rather than choose what she really wants. But then, bang!!! Few weeks after we had all accepted her decision it sort of back fired. And now, it was a question of a lifetime for her, though she had the opportunity to set it right as soon as possible. I, having been close to her and cared a lot for her and feeling a sense of responsibility, try to make her see sense in what is happening. But she refuses and sticks to her guns. I am worried and think all day long as to how I can get her to change her decision. However, contrary to my usual behavior, I don't react too fast. I let it all cool off. That is when I think about the question I just posed to all of you here. Where is the line? The line between caring for someone and controlling their decisions, albeit for their own good.

I decided(after quite a bit of running around in my 'mazedmind') that I have a right to voice my opinion when I am not happy with a loved one's decision. I also have the right to explain the consequences as I see it. But then, the line is drawn there. I can go no futher than that. I have to just feel contended with having done my bit and let him/her walk his/her path. And then accept the person for what he/she is even if his/her decision turns out to be wrong as I had forewarned it would be.

Now, that is a big idea for all of us raising kids. I now understand what it means to be a parent and how well my Mom has raised me! Kudos to you 'My great Mom!'