Do the right thing - ALWAYS!!

I am starting to write this post with mixed feelings of shame, a necessity to shed my load and a compelling intention to educate others from my experience. I am going to narrate an incident which happened yesterday night which left me very guilty and ashamed, but quickly reversed to open my eyes to something which I have believed in strongly for a long time. I must say that by the time I decided to write about this incident in my blog, the feeling had almost become one of enlightenment.

I am going to let you take a peek into what happened without much ado. But, beware!!! For those of you who know me quite well this might be quite a shock. Nevertheless, it is one of those experiences in my life that turned into a very good lesson.

Ganesh an I had been pretty much excited about Pumpkin(our new man in the family – a lab pup) and I had been busy messaging my kith and kin about his homecoming. We had gotten out of the house to do some shopping and I was carrying a plastic cover with some of Chickoo’s refuse (he had vomitedL). I was also busy messaging as I got out with the cover and had intended to dump it outside our gate from where the Corporation guys would clear it off the next day morning. This was the usual practice. However, since I was so engrossed in the messaging, I forgot to do this and I carried it to the car and got into the car as Ganesh was reversing. I then almost immediately realized I had forgotten to dump the cover and got out and started looking for the dustbin with the car door ajar. Ganesh was also talking over the phone (speaker mode!!! That is info for all of you who are like me who hate people who drive with their mobile tucked between their ear and shoulder) and as the door was ajar and he was in the midst of reversing he started shouting and I, with my thoughts occupied by all the messaging, just dumped the cover outside the gate of the house where I was standing and got into the car. Yeah, yeah, that is the most stupid act I ever did guys!! I know all of you who know me are gaping at this with mouth wide open. I really can’t explain why I acted like that though I almost immediately realized what a stupid thing I had done as soon as I got into the car. So, I decided that the minute Ganesh reverses and stops I would get out of the car and pick up the cover and drop it in the dust bin on my way.

Hold on guys!!! The story is not yet over. The worst part is just round the corner. Even before the car stopped, I saw an old gentleman who had been right behind us in his car, had got out and started shouting at me!!! It was apparently the owner of the house and he was waiting to open the gate to his house and get in. Now, should I say, how annoyed he would have been? I got out the minute Ganesh stopped and ran out and apologized to him and picked up the cover and got into the car. I was so ashamed that I could have killed myself. It was the most demeaning moment of my life to have been caught by someone, trying to dump waste in front of their house. Especially, for a person like me who always drops waste into a dustbin, even if it is a bus ticket or a small bill. I have always praised myself on being clean and tidy and fulfilling my duty as a citizen of India. And lo!!! Here I go!!! All the pride and respect I had going down the drain in a minute.

Needless to say, I was very upset and guilty and cribbed for the next ten minutes to Ganesh on why I had acted so stupid and how bad I felt. He was also flabbergasted and made no bones about how he didn’t expect such an act from me. After the ten minutes of bad feeling, I fell silent and started thinking and analyzing what led to this deed. I gathered that it was mainly due to the fact that I was very pre-occupied with my messaging (which obviously could have been put off for a while) and I had also for a moment thought it was alright to fall short of being righteous just once. However, I couldn’t digest it even for a minute after the deed. Now that taught me two lessons!

One, not to be too preoccupied with trivial pleasures that your common sense is blinded to the brink of stupidity. Two, never to think that you can make an excuse (even if it is just once) to fall short of doing the right thing.

I have always told myself time and again when I am tempted to fall short of perfection that if one decides to follow the path of righteousness, one should stick to it, however difficult the circumstances are. However tough it is to do a job, I have believed that if I can’t do it right (and this has nothing to do with success, mind you!), I don’t attempt to do it at all. I have read a few articles and books which have said how perfectionists become stressful personalities and that it is alright once in a while to relax and try not concentrate on trivial things. I have for some reason never felt comfortable with that thought, though I agree that it is not worth stressing yourself with what is really not important. But, I have tried not to take this thought to heart and practice it sincerely because I am scared that if I make it a habit to be less perfect I would just get accustomed to taking all imperfections easily. This, I think would ultimately lead me away from the right path without me even realizing it.

After all that deep thinking and enlightment, I pacified and tried to forgive myself by saying GOD made this incident happen, probably to open my eyes to the truth that ‘you can never get away doing a wrong deed’.